Intrusive Thoughts

cw: obsessive thoughts

When obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and ruminating are part of both your mood disorder and your learning disability, it can make for interesting days.

You know that conversation we had two weeks ago? It’s running through my head, word for word. And that problem I kind of need to solve? I’m working on it constantly and probably journaling about it and I haven’t gotten anything figured out yet but give me a few more weeks and I just won’t care anymore. And that song I listened to this morning? There is one single line of it that keeps playing over and over and over and it won’t fucking stop. I also read over texts that I send and posts I write so many times, just bc the words are stuck in my head.

Still figuring out how to make myself slow down enough to work on mindfulness techniques.

Your Health, Your Treatment

Remember, kids, the point of mental health treatment isn’t a uniform standard of “normal,” it is an individualized version of success often centered on harm reduction and risk mitigation.

Your symptoms don’t have to go away, the parts of your personality that you like but are part of your illness don’t have to go away. They just have to be managed so they can’t hurt you. (The parts you hate and that hurt you and you feel serve no good purpose can be worked against. Can be worked with. You get to define that version of success too.)

Learn to recognize the signs of mania and figure out how to still have fun, but set boundaries to keep yourself and your loved ones safe. Keep all the bubbly energy and creativity of having an adhd brain, but learn how to manage hyperfixation and keep your distractible nature from standing between you and your passions.

I feel like a lot of people struggle with “but if I get treatment, I won’t be myself anymore!” which is an absolutely understandable fear. I’ve faced it myself. But the point of treatment is not perfection or making you a zombie or even making you normal. It’s about making things not so hard, not so scary. And if you feel like your treatment is making you not yourself, and you’re unhappy with that? Talk to your dr or therapist or psych. Redefine success.

Also remember, if you ever need support asking for help, finding doctors, making that final call when you want to make an appointment, let me know. I’ll do what I can.

#worldmentalhealthday

10/10/2017

Hey y’all I basically haven’t stopped talking about my mental health for the past several months and honestly? I don’t plan to any time soon. I have ADHD, bipolar disorder, and lots of fun anxiety stemming from both of those things. I’m medicated and in therapy and so damn grateful.


Remember:

You don’t have to fight alone.

Treatment is about your version of success, no anyone else’s.
Things can be easier. Maybe not all the way better, but easier.
Other people feel this too.

Fight the stigma. Speak out. Do your best for yourself and the people around you.