2017 Recap

2017, you were a lot to handle.

I lost 2 jobs, was diagnosed with 1 mood disorder and 1 developmental disorder, had my apartment broken into and flooded, lost about 90% of everything I've owned since the beginning of high school, and cried a literally uncountable number of times.

I gained new friends, added love to my life, discovered medication and therapy that works for me, was reminded just how much my fantastic friends care about me and want to support me, got into my second apartment ever, rediscovered art and crochet, have spent a lot of time learning how to be alone (and how much I don't really like it), gave back to my community, and have spent time discovering myself and being respected for who I am. I was given the chance to celebrate birthdays and milestones. I have worked so hard to learn honesty and how to prioritize myself, and how those things are related. I proved to myself that I am a good man in a storm (literally and figuratively) and that I can handle most crises with grace even when it hurts.

I got to see Whitney for the first time since May of last year. I got to watch Robyn graduate from college. I travelled to Chicago, New Jersey, Denver and South Carolina. I got to see pictures of Charlie playing in the snow, and I got to watch as Benjamin opened the blanket I got him for Christmas and immediately buried his face in it. I turned 23 with a week-long celebration. I dyed my hair blue. I watched my sister grow. I stayed up until 5:30 in the morning talking to Veronica and Wes. I saw Welcome to Night Vale Live. I petted so many dogs. I heard my mom call me Derek for the first time. I put real money in savings for the first time ever. I got tattoo number 5. I woke up every single day, no matter how impossible that seemed the night before.

A year is too long to characterize as good or bad. It is made up of thousands of moments that sting and glow and temper and corrode. I look back with recognition of trauma, and I look back with celebration of joy. I look forward with hope, trepidation, and overwhelming determination.